Who is Liam Neeson dating? Does Liam Neeson even know?

(GLAMOURLESS, Hollywood) It’s the guessing game the whole town is caught up in. Who is Liam Neeson dating, and what kind of money can I win if I back the right horse?

Who is Liam Neeson dating? "Excuse me, madam. Is it you?"
Who is Liam Neeson dating? ‘Excuse me, madam. Is it you?’

The star of Schindler’s List, The A Team and Sesame Street revealed that he is back in the saddle during an interview with Irish Newspaper, The Irish Independent. However, in what appears to be a game of modern day Rumpelstiltskin, the actor was unable to say the woman’s name.

News reports say that the situation has sent Twitter ‘into hyperdrive’. The entire company last seen heading balls-to-the-wall towards Ursa Major, with the janitor screaming, ‘You’re all for it now! When she bucks, she f**king bucks!’ 

Back in Hollywood, speculation over the actor’s love life had reached fever pitch by lunchtime. Likely runners in what appeared to be a four-horse race were Kristen Stewart (110-1), Susan Sarandon (7-2), Halle Berry (80-2) and – at 10-1 odds – Prancing Trucker, starting in the 3:15 at Bangor-on-Dee.

Who is Liam Neeson dating? "Which one of you is it?"
Who is Liam Neeson dating? ‘Which one of you is it?’

However, by tea time insiders had started to suspect that the actor may not even have known who he was dating himself. Images of a confused Neeson began appearing on social media, including one of the actor on a Hollywood-bound aircraft, questioning his fellow passengers in a state of some distress. ‘Which one of you is it?’ he was heard to shout. A show of hands quickly revealed that, at the very least, he wasn’t short on takers.

Glamourless would like to take this opportunity to wish Neeson the very best in his search. There are members of our staff who would happily throw on a bridle and get down to business.

Daniel Puppets

Daniel Puppets grew up in Eastleigh, dreaming of escape. At the age of 18 he ran away from home to begin work on the short-lived publication, Winchester Razzle. He saw a lot of things in a short space of time and left having gained the ability to regularly interview two actors, deftly shaven, coupled in a meaningless embrace. He has been with Glamourless ever since the editor forced his hand with blackmail and unsubtle threats.

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