So he fell asleep inside you: what next?


Picture the scene: that fourth bottle of Cava is sitting heavy in your and your new lover’s stomachs, but you decide to progress from the sofa groping to the bedroom regardless. Sure, you’re both gaseous ticking time bombs, but passion’s passion, and you’ve just got to have him. You begin the love-making session exactly as you intend to end it: in the missionary position. But at some point – and you can’t remember how long it’s taken you – you realise he’s fallen asleep. Your morale’s probably pretty low at this point and, to be honest, it should be.

So what’s next for you?

Self-reflection in action – a lesson to us all

Firstly, it’s important to ascertain the exact situation in which this happened. There are two possibilities:

1. He duly came and lay, exhausted, on top of you, until he drifted adorably into a dribbly slumber while still inside your vagina. If this is you, ladies, you do not have a problem. You should be shouting about this level of intimacy from the rooftops.

2. You were in the throes of passion and he simply lost interest – so much so that he actually lost consciousness. This is more serious. Read on for some soul-searching, as well as some practical tips for removing his tip.

Consider your own performance

Have you done enough? Are you wearing a monokini and offering cake?

If you were sexy enough, he wouldn’t have fallen asleep. It’s harsh, but it’s true. Were you expressing adequate enthusiasm for the situation? Had you told him what a stallion he was? Had you told him you just wanted to make him happy and didn’t care about whether or not you orgasmed? No? Well, it’s no surprise he ended up asleep. You’re a classic sexual bore.

Consider reading up on some exciting sexual positions to keep the flame alive. If you don’t take action, that flame will dry up and die. Like your vagina.

The logistics

A man lies solo following his partner’s escape

If you’ve googled this while lying trapped beneath your man – or you’re imagining the situation may recur – there are some practical issues here, and some key questions you need to ask yourself.

1. Can you feasibly fall asleep with him still inside you? If so, this is the easiest option.

2. Can you move him without waking him? If so, job done. Just forget about how rejected you feel.

3. Can you stay awake all night? Might be less awkward, to be honest.

4. Can you think of some way to entertain yourself? Is there a film you really like that you could play back to yourself in your mind? Some jokes you could tell yourself? Be creative!

5. Can you wake him up, tell him he fell asleep inside you and that you’re upset about it? Lol, only joking.

Has your man ever fallen asleep inside you? Share your tips with your fellow readers in the comments section below!

Bonnie Pumphouse

Bonnie began her professional life selling caravan kitchens. She then took on a part-time role throwing lady parties for a well-known sex toy retailer, but they parted ways over artistic differences. She now splits her time between a much higher end sex toy retailer and writing exciting, inspirational articles for Glamourless – all aimed at REAL women like her.

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