London Fashion week is barely under way, and already our minds have been blown. We’ve been keeping an eye on the catwalks and runways (so you don’t have to), and here’s what we’ve discovered so far.

1. Restrained cannibalism is to be encouraged.

2. If you’re not out and about in a hay bale and pile of discarded toilet roles, you’re no one.

3. Kim Kardashian’s new Screwfix duct tape line is already affecting share prices.

4. #BarelyThere clothes don’t turn heads anymore. They’ve become the norm

5. Hay bales, duct tape, cannibalism… whatever! Nothing at London Fashion Week 2016 has yet to top last year’s Marko Mitanovski triumph.

6. Accessories are getting really sophisticated.

7. The key to getting noticed? Wear something bright – even if it’s just a hint.

8. If you can’t get Cara Delevingne’s eyebrows the natural way, buy a paint roller and get busy.

9. This year’s designers hate your feet.

10. When deadlines are missed, someone still has to grin and bear it.

Dutch designer Pietre Van Pietre knitted right up until the last minute, but he just couldn't get the job done. — A brave model works with what he has. You just can’t get the knitting staff these days.

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Daniel Puppets

Daniel Puppets grew up in Eastleigh, dreaming of escape. At the age of 18 he ran away from home to begin work on the short-lived publication, Winchester Razzle. He saw a lot of things in a short space of time and left having gained the ability to regularly interview two actors, deftly shaven, coupled in a meaningless embrace. He has been with Glamourless ever since the editor forced his hand with blackmail and unsubtle threats.