Celebrity tit-haps: who had it hanging out the best?

If there’s one thing we learnt about fashion last year, it’s that the sideboob is here to stay – it’s been added to the dictionary and everything. So if you’re thinking of whacking your puppies out at a formal social event in the near future, you’re going to need a little celebrity inspiration. Because, quite frankly, if a celebrity hasn’t done it, tried it or publicly failed at it, then Glamourless doesn’t care about it.

1. Gwyneth Paltrow

Like a woman off a space ship.

Lovely Gwyneth – just look at her. So toned and lithe, so shiny and clean. Although it may look like someone has Photoshopped out the rest of dress, we can exclusively reveal that this is real. It’s the actual dress. Which means that gravity-defying funk of flesh on the right of the image is *real boob*. Stunning, as always.

2. Rita Ora

Brave woman(s).

This situation is not ideal. The admirable sideboob here is being detracted from by the revelation of Rita’s deformity – her left arm is severely withered and, instead of a hand, she has a sequinned-clad lady. She’s done marvellously given the circumstances.

3. Anne Hathaway

‘Can you all see it? I want to make sure everyone can see it clearly.’

A bold move from Brazilian actress Anne Hathaway – and she knows it. Just look at that cheeky grin! We’re all getting a little bit more than we bargained for here – and everyone loves a freebie. Props to Anne for ensuring she’s covered from every angle but up.

4. Rosamund Pike

Desperate times.

This is too far, even for us. We know Kim Kardashian absolutely nailed the masking tape look, but that was a crisis situation for her. This is clearly a cheap imitation of the Kardashian genius and is to be harshly judged. Ros, you’re not fooling anyone. Put it all away.

5. Mariah Carey

When does ‘side’ become ‘sin’?

This leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination – Mariah might as well be wearing a skin-tight onesie of her own naked body. Still, you can’t deny that she’s looking pretty chuffed with herself, so perhaps true happiness comes with releasing your body from the shackles of material and letting it all loose on the innocent and unprepared readers of gossip magazines.

Note to self: go naked to next press event. BP.

Bonnie Pumphouse

Bonnie began her professional life selling caravan kitchens. She then took on a part-time role throwing lady parties for a well-known sex toy retailer, but they parted ways over artistic differences. She now splits her time between a much higher end sex toy retailer and writing exciting, inspirational articles for Glamourless – all aimed at REAL women like her.

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