Everything you need to know about ‘barely there’ clothes

You’ve heard about ‘barely there makeup‘, the fashion trend sweeping the nation, but what do you know about ‘barely there’ clothes? Glamourless recently published a shocking piece about the brave women who hit the red carpet at the Grammys half naked, but – according to our fashion sources – it’s a trend that’s likely to take the high street by storm once it’s warm enough. Here’s what you need to know.

1. ‘Barely there’ clothes will make an appearance at LFW

Barely there clothes
“Nice accessories you’ve got there. I like the way you let them hang”

Footwear designer, Stuart Weitzman, is a powerful figure in the ‘barely there’ clothing world, and his models are sure to set the catwalk alight this spring.

The poster above is a classic example of how he has previously embraced the ‘barely there’ ethos. You think these women are naked, but they’re not. They are wearing really expensive, highly fashionable clothes. They know it. Stuart knows it. We know it. Everyone with a highly developed sense of fashion knows it. If yours is too underdeveloped to be able to see it, that’s really not our problem.

2. You might need a coat

Barely there clothes 2
Clean undies are a must with this outfit

The very essence of the ‘barely there’ clothing movement, this piece is sure to be a hit with the Saturday morning shopping crowd at Lidl. A word of warning, however: while you’re no less covered than had you been wearing a qiviut onesie, there’s an outside chance of drafty nether regions. Bring an optional coat (we hear Stuart Weitzman might be branching out, so keep a well-trained eye on his catalogue) and always make sure your undies are spotless.

3. ‘Barely there’ clothes will be all the rage by summer

'Get with it mister. Pale denim is sooo 1980s'
‘Get with it mister. Pale denim is sooo 1980s’

While there’s something to be said for being a trendsetter, there’s no need to feel that you’ve missed the boat if you’re more high street in your shopping habits. We’re confident that, come summer, the whole nation – even men – will have caught on.

The signs are already there. Across London, most commuters have started embracing the ‘barely there’ trouser style, and those that haven’t are starting to look faintly ridiculous. Imagine yourself on the train in this photo. Which person would you rather be? Exactly. We thought so.

4. Stay ahead of the curve

'You, er... you wanted to see me?'
‘You, er… you wanted to see me?’

As with all new fashions and trends, there comes a tipping point – a time when you might decide it’s time to move on. While the guy in the picture, wearing a £2,000 ‘barely there’ power suit (by Pietre Van Pietre), is clearly a model, this could soon become the norm for offices all over the UK. Once your boss is wearing ‘barely there’, its probably time for a rethink.

Daniel Puppets

Daniel Puppets grew up in Eastleigh, dreaming of escape. At the age of 18 he ran away from home to begin work on the short-lived publication, Winchester Razzle. He saw a lot of things in a short space of time and left having gained the ability to regularly interview two actors, deftly shaven, coupled in a meaningless embrace. He has been with Glamourless ever since the editor forced his hand with blackmail and unsubtle threats.

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