It’s 2020, which means we’ve all been signed up as feminists by now. And we’re all for equality if it means getting paid more to do less work in even cuter outfits – but here at Glamourless HQ we’ve recently become concerned that some relentless bra-burners have taken the whole thing too far.
Here’s the rub: we’re sure you’ll agree that ‘revolution’ is a strong and unwieldy word, while ‘patriarchy’ is a comfortable and established one – but things can move surprisingly easily from status quo to status WHOA. It’s good to keep your feminism in check, just like you’ve learnt to keep your weight and intelligence in check. So here are four tell-tale signs that you’ve taken your feminism too far and it’s time to chill the fuck out.
You’ve alienated your male friends
Firstly, male friends? Really? Are you sure there isn’t something wrong with you?
But if you do actually have male friends, of course they’re not going to want to hear you harp on about their ongoing reign of societal power. It’ll make them self-conscious and, in turn, you’ll be seen as the resident fun sponge – the one who ‘used to be fun’. They’ll stop inviting you to parties and they’ll start removing you from mixed-gender WhatsApp groups.
Time to get down off your high horse and shake that lovely mane out while you’ve still got it.
You’re making it impossible for them to approach other women
Imagine this: a male friend of yours keeps going on about the ill-treatment of men at the hands of women. How women have for centuries objectified and offered unwanted verbal and physical attention to men. How dating apps for men are a waking nightmare.
Now imagine having to date a man with all that poison floating around in your head. It might put you off your game. You might start feeling like you needed to treat that man with respect, consider his feelings, ask what he wants and whether or not he even likes you. Which takes all the fun away.
Think before you speak.
Your feminist needs are compromising their access to health services
A male man with feminist leanings because of your non-stop propoganda will naturally feel unwilling to get his penis out in front of a woman he doesn’t know. Your feminism is therefore prohibiting his much-needed full STI check. You should be ashamed of yourself.
You’re spending so much time marching you haven’t waxed for weeks
Finally, and most importantly, if you’re too busy waxing lyrical about feminism to everyone, you can’t be spending enough time waxing yourself. Park the moral nonsense and sort out your fanny, or you’ll be a laughing stock for more than just your principles.
Are you too much of a feminist? Probably! Comment below!