Let it grow: how body hair got sexy

HairyJess

Isn’t it just crazy how trends move on so quickly? Time passes, the seasons change, we wither and are gone. As John Donne once wrote: ‘Love, built as beauty, soon as beauty, dies.’

So yeah! Body hair! It was once confined to men, mammals and a few brave female celebrities – most notably, Christina Aguilera and Helen Mirren. But now letting your locks flap freely in the wind – wherever they’re growing from – is officially de rigueur among the fash pack and other twig people.

Want to get the look? Well, you’re in luck. And we’ve got an exclusive secret to share: the way to do it is to do nothing. The less you do the better. Stop all your hasty trimming, shaving, waxing, plucking, threading, surgery and shearing – there’s no need. Just let that body hair grow. This is one trend we can all get on board with! Amirightlaydees?

Here are the key areas where you should be flaunting your foliage loud and proud.

Back hair

Back hair
This woman has cleverly weaved her head hair into her back hair. Divine.

Housing the most sensual of body hair – especially on women – your back follicles are the most erogenous zones you never knew you knew about. Encourage your hair to grow extensively along the spine; bonus points if you can plait it like it’s rumoured Britney did back in the early 90s. Absolutely no light, soft down, either – we want the equivalent of horsehair or we don’t want anything at all. Commit!

Sole hair

Hobbit feet
You could always try the slippers before committing to the growth.

Sole hair? More like soul hair! Heh heh. Channel your inner hobbit and let the bottom of your feet enjoy the cushioning they so desperately crave. Think of the comfort. Goodbye, Scholl gel pads and hello, unknown podiatric bliss.

Cheek hair

Bum
Kim is so off trend it’s embarrassing.

Bum cheek, of course – nobody wants a bearded lady. Sprout a few tufts on your behind and you’ll look as cute as a bunny. Even better, hide in a huge top hat and wait until your knight in shining armour pulls you out. The magic trick of destiny. (If he doesn’t arrive after a few hours, climb out of the hat and go home. Maybe next time.)

Chest hair

Boob
Try not to look like this though.

We hear the twig people go for a little between the tits and a donut-shaped ring around each nipple. It’s a lot of upkeep but makes for a really striking effect when you’ve risked it and gone braless. And topless.

Armpits, bikini line, legs

Absolutely not. Don’t even think about it. What are you – crazy? You keep those areas hair free or everyone will think you’re a total freak.

 

Bonnie Pumphouse

Bonnie began her professional life selling caravan kitchens. She then took on a part-time role throwing lady parties for a well-known sex toy retailer, but they parted ways over artistic differences. She now splits her time between a much higher end sex toy retailer and writing exciting, inspirational articles for Glamourless – all aimed at REAL women like her.

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